End Time

End Time

Ringo the Night Elf Hunter

The air screamed as it passed through the demonic portals and the air stank with fel energy. Mountaineer Ringo Flinthammer put one hand to his nose and jerked it away in shock.

“My hand!” He stared in horror at his purple skin. “My voice!”

He whirled around, staring upward. The purple foliage, the greens so deep and rich that it hurt them to look at them — this wasn’t Loch Modan. This was … where was this?

He had been in Dragonblight, he thought, but it was a dead place now, far deader than even the frozen plains normally seemed. There had been the corpse of a great dragon draped over Wyrmrest Temple. But when was he there? How could he have been?

“Ringo!” A voice burst in on his reverie as the world jerked and shifted beneath his feet. He stared into the eyes of a night elf priestess, her gossamer white dress more of a nightgown than what a proper dwarf woman would wear out in public. “Ringo! Wake up!”

He opened his mouth to reply and spat as dirt and dust flew into it. He sat forward, coughing out a piece of plaster that had fallen from the roof of Flinthammer Hall.

“Beli?” Even in the darkness, his wife’s wide eyes shone with reflected moonlight. “Ah had th’ strangest dream …”

There was another thump, and this one bounced him from the bed onto the stone floor. Somewhere in the darkness, Frostmaw was whining — a pitiful sound to come from a bear of his size — and Bael was calling out for his parents in confusion, although not in pain or fear, praise Khaz’goroth.

Beli jerked open the curtains as she passed by the window on the way to retrieve their child. The room filled with orange light.

“‘s Deathwing,” she barked, “He’s done ano’er flyby o’er Thelsamar. Th’ town’s burnin’!”

Ringo jumped to his feet, doffing his nightshirt and grabbing for his mountaineer’s uniform.

“Someone should put an end ta that beastie once and fer all — and soon,” he snarled, jerking on his boots.

“Ah donnae reckon that’s possible,” Beli muttered, returning to the room with Bael in her arms.

Nay, it is,” Ringo said. “Now. … How in blazes do Ah know that?”

Shoot ’em up

Shoot ’em up

Ringo on the roof of the Stoutlager

Mountaineers Kadrell and Flinthammer sat on the roof of the Stoutlager Inn, watching the sky for the Headless Horseman. There had also been reports that the Horde had been flying over some settlements, throwing stink bombs. It hadn’t happened here, and if Captain Rugelfuss had anything to say about it, it wasn’t going to.

“Me neck hurts,” Ringo Flinthammer muttered, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

Kadrell grunted non-noncommittally.

“Heard a rumor earlier,” Ringo continued, “Th’ mountaineers are gonna start bein’ trained to shoot at point-blank range.”

“Say what?” Kadrell snapped. It was the first time he’d spoken in hours.

“Instead o’ smackin’ someone with an axe or a polearm or a staff or what have ye, we’ll just, ye know — shoot ’em.”

“What about all th’ melee training we’ve had?”

“Nae time fer it any more. We’ll jus’ use our guns for all o’ that.”

“No Raptor Strike? No Wing Clip?”

“Seems not.”

“… good riddance.”

Dropping the hammer

Dropping the hammer

Steaming poop on the shores of Skysong Lake in Nagrand

The screams of frustration echoed through Flinthammer Hall.

“Bael Flinthammer!” Beli Flinthammer half-yelled, half-sobbed. “Ye already ken yer numbers and yer letters and ye bloody father taught ye how to field-strip a blunderbuss. How come ye cannae get this?”

“Nae poop!”

“Ye did poop! Ah kin smell it from here! Magni’s been turned ta diamond and he kin smell it!”

“Nae poop!”

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Strange brew

Strange brew

Ringo at Brewfest

“Spit it out, already!”

Ringo Flinthammer swallowed and cleared his throat.

“Sorry — pretzel. What was th’ question, again?”

His cousin sighed, and gestured with his beer stein.

“In all yer travels, havin’ seen all the changes since the Cataclysm, which was the craziest? Like, the people.”

“What? Ah reckon ye’re drunk, Mangorn.”

“Nay, I mean, like night elf mages. That’s madness!”

“Pfft, they’ve always been ’round — Ah reckon this lot jus’ found out they couldn’t blow up a continent again, and are just lookin’ fer something to do.”

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