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Category: Ringo’s Tale

The collector

The collector

Ringo holding Giant's Bane

“Sorry Ah’m late,” Mountaineer Ringo Flinthammer said, a little flushed as he stumbled down the steps into the Stoutlager Inn. “Bloody elf was dancin’ on th’ mailbox again and had to write her up.”

He took in what felt like a sea of waiting faces and shoved his hand into a pocket, retrieving a dog-eared set of cards.

“‘When Ah were assigned to Loch Modan,'” he read off the first, “‘They told me there was a growin’ fox problem here. Ah didn’t realize they meant the ladies of the Women’s Riflery Club. Pause fer laughter.'”

Ringo looked up, stricken.

“Er, Ah don’t reckon Ah was supposed to read that last part. Mebbe Ah should just get to what ye’re all here for, which is to look at some of me favorite guns Ah’ve held onto over th’ years.”

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Dark Iron legacy

Dark Iron legacy

Half-Ringo, half-Dark Iron

Ragnaros’ fiery crotch! Could you make these bonds any tighter?

“If ye’d like, Ah could leave ye untied, and jus’ shoot out both yer kneecaps.”

“Who in the Twisting Nether are you, anyway? Since when do mountaineers use freezing traps?”

“Jus’ a mountaineer, like all the rest. We’re havin’ a wee bit o’ a fox problem of late. They reckon if we don’t get a handle on it soon, they’ll overrun much of this here territory.”

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Can’t do that while stunned

Can’t do that while stunned

Frostmaw roars in frustration

There was the faintest of whirring sounds and Ringo Flinthammer stumbled forward a half-step again, dazed and unable to move as the smooth river rock bounced off his skull. Once again, his unseen attacker had gotten him, leaving him helpless.

Frostmaw roared in frustration, the big bear whipping his head back and forth, snuffling frantically in an attempt to locate the Dark Iron insurgent.

Stop!” Ringo’s right hand chopped down into his open palm the moment he could think clearly again. He flipped his right hand over and wriggled his fingers in the air, like a spider knocked onto its back. “Wait! Wait!

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And then there were two …

And then there were two …

Kadrell and Flinthammer arguing

“You were completely out of line, Flinthammer!” Mountaineer Kadrell roared, quickly checking his volume as he realized he was in danger of waking all of Thelsamar. “You had no right to roust all of us out of bed …”

“The explosion woke ye lot as …”

“No one heard any damned explosion,” Kadrell snapped. The bleary-eyed mountaineers standing on the back road leading into Thelsamar all nodded, grumbling. “It was an earthquake or something.”

“Khaz Modan donnae have earthq- …”

“More importantly,” Kadrell continued, “You ignored the chain of command. You should have woken Pebblebitty, who would have woken Rugelfuss. You don’t have the authority to wake mountaineers in the middle of the night and send them on a wild wolpertinger chase.”

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